Selfishly Loving Myself

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I’m really starting to realize the importance of why I have to love myself. At the end of 2015, I signed up to become a Beachbody Coach. I figured it was something I could do for fun while getting into shape. What I didn’t expect was how emotional the journey would be – posting selfies, putting myself on display for the world to see through pictures and stories. That’s terrifying for someone like me. Let me explain what I mean by that..
Growing up I was constantly teased about my hair and my facial features. I don’t have European features, my nose is thick and wide, my lips are plump, and my hair is coarse and short. I was teased for being the short one in my family by my own family. I can’t ever remember really feeling like I was beautiful – I was ignored by guys, never had a boyfriend in school. So now as an adult, I have to put all of those insecurities out for the world to see. I don’t feel sorry for myself. Clearly it’s what God intended or else I’d look differently.
Although I’m not a coach anymore, I appreciate all of the lessons I’ve learned. I just wasn’t in a good mental and spiritual space when I started, nor was I absolutely in love with the program – it served its purpose.. I got the results I was looking for.
The older I get, the more I know comparing myself to others is just an inner demon trying to keep me down. But I am my own individual who has to learn that not one of is the same. That’s what makes us unique. I still struggle with my appearance, but that’s because I’ve been conditioned to not love myself. Now I have to unlearn everything I’ve been taught about beauty and let the negativity float away. It’s a process that I have to take for my health and for my child. I am unique and loved.
With God’s love,
Alishea

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