Tonight ends week 4 of “Breaking Free” by Beth Moore. (A brief synopsis of Breaking Free – the purpose is to become free through Christ. To no longer be in bondage, but to live an abundant and Spirit-filled life that God has planned [for her].) I’ve had the pleasure of meeting with women on Facebook who are in the Womens Bible Study Cafe Study Group. This is my fourth study, but my first time blogging my experience. The Bible Studies are perfect for me because I don’t have to find a sitter and I’m much better at verbal communication than oral communication (still working on improving both).
I’ve had great experiences for all of the Bible Studies I have been apart of, but I very close to not taking this last study. It was a last minute decision – maybe a week before it began, I decided to buy the book after reading the description. I needed a change. Life wasn’t bad, but I felt like something was holding me back. Then I received a message that I needed to go for “it”. See what would come of it. My relationship with God was growing. I could feel His presence more now than I ever had before. I was very optimistic.
I was determined to not fall behind like I had with past studies. I even set a schedule. I almost had a few setbacks, but I managed to have everything completed by the time my group met.
Weeks 1-3 were great! I enjoyed learning about how we can be free in Christ. Week 4 was a bit touchy – focusing on rebuilding ancient ruins, so I had to revisit the past and be open about my family. I managed to get to day 4 with no issues.
Then today happened.
It started with negative thoughts about my past and spiraled. I barely made it to church. But once I did get to church, I knew God was speaking through my pastor to me. The praise team sung a song about being free, but God spoke through my pastor – some of us were singing, but we weren’t free. And he was right. So I opened my heart to God. While at church, I asked God to send me a message about my prayers. And again – my pastor said that we should pray without ceasing.
I even got a bonus message through my YouVersion Bible Plan – that there’s an unseen battle over my prayers. This fight I’m fighting isn’t about what’s going on in the world, but in the heavenly world. Ephesians 6:12 says “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
The enemy wants to stop my prayer from getting to heaven. He’ll use my depression to keep me weak, my anxiety to cause me to worry and overthink. But God! God is greater and I believe it. I believe that week 4 of “Breaking Free” is only the beginning and I have to push through. Victory is on the other side. My prayers won’t cease and my faith will grow. This is not my first battle and it won’t be my last. I pray to be able to withstand those storms and battles. For they are not mine, but the Lord’s. He has the victory and the final say.
With God’s love,