I let my past dictate my present. I make decisions for other people and keep to myself. There’s a saying that states we can block our own blessings. That is true. I focus so much on what I did wrong or who wronged me that it’s sometimes stifling. It’s a real problem. The isolation we’ve come to experience has really opened my eyes to how I can be my own enemy. Honestly, it’s exhausting. I know I’ve done great things, but it’s hard to see myself as a great person. I’ve even questioned my stance on how I consider myself an introvert. I now believe years of dimming my light for others, being teased and bullied, and rejection has led me turn inward to avoid criticism and scrutiny from others. I even avoid pictures because I think people will spend time tearing it apart. Yes, I’m hard on myself. Those inner critics are influenced by people who were a part of my life whether as staples or in passing. Those negative voices became my own thoughts.
Through some inner work, those voices are starting to go away. I’m gaining more clarity on where I want to be and what I want to do. One thing I used to do was to downplay my accomplishments. That didn’t serve me, but was done more for others. But not anymore. I recently graduated with a second master’s degree and thought, “You know what?!? Share your accomplishments and your story. People need to see your resiliency and your determination.” So I did just that by sharing pictures and a portion of my experience on my social media pages. There’s no shame in being proud of what you have accomplished and what you plan to accomplish.
By the way, be on the lookout for my Social Work experience story.
Although this is a brief reflection, I just want to say share your story and celebrate your accomplishments. Folks are going to talk anyway and you can’t control what they say. You can only control how you respond to situations. And know that some folks aren’t worth the energy. Protect your peace. Conserve your energy.